A Moment of Reflection - Pure Gratitude... for all of IT.

How do I get to be living on this planet at such an incredible time in history? 

How have I been through all I have been through to be here now? 

As I work to build this space here on the farm into the Empowerment Centre, I have felt it to be in my bones, I take time this morning for gratitude. I take time for reflection and renewal.

From a shy, anxious young kid to a strong, courageous and formidable woman, I am keenly aware that the seeds of my being were sown long before my birth. 

The shame of my childhood is something I visit regularly now. I visit it in my mind’s eye and in the soul I share with my inner child. I visit it from a 20,000 foot view and I accept it for what it was. 

It was all opening the door so that I could lean into forgiveness. Forgiveness today of the shame I held onto for decades.

Forgiveness of the pain and suffering I held inside my physical body for years. 

Forgiveness for the necessary lies, the necessary silence and the pain I have carried for decades after I was sexually abused at the hands of my father. Repeatedly. 

Forgiveness in my heart for my father’s behaviour and abuse. 

Forgiveness in my heart for my father’s terror in my lived life and in my dreams. 

You hold no power over the me of today. 

You hold instead, a place in my heart.

You hold inside of me a space of grace and deep forgiveness. 

You have created courage in me at a level I now know was necessary for me to walk this path. 

Effective blaming. 

Without your darkened soul, mine would have never found the light. 

In both of us. 

Love wins.